Future Psycho Ex-Boyfriend?

This, our first entry in the dating politics reader advice column comes to us from Nancy, who happens to live in Canada. She received a 'wink' from a nice-looking seemingly normal guy from the Pacific Northwest. They began to chat online for the 'getting to know you' stage, you'll see why this was probably a good idea in the following exchange.

This is part one of a two part series



Please read the following, and offer your advice to our reader Nancy, who sent this in, the names have been changed to protect the innocent, FYI.

This is a long posting, but it's worth it. If you want to jump to the good stuff, just use the quicklinks.

One final warning: because of the subject nature, this editor was unable to remain properly objective in the writing of the quicklinks and some commentary. The editor apologizes for this, however the rest of the content is untainted, any changes done were merely to preserve anonymity or the parties involved or avoid breaking any TOS due to foul language.

QuickLinks: Jump to Section

  1. Civilized, getting to know you chit-chat

  2. A little lack of knowledge

  3. A little shop talk

  4. Something in common - we both like food

  5. What do you look for in a man?

  6. I know, let's talk about politics!

  7. Full of self love

  8. Things are getting interesting

  9. I know what would help, lets talk about Iraq - everybody knows the real story by now.

  10. Will Canada save us?

  11. Maybe it's love, we both agree, Bill O'Reilly sucks!

  12. Canadian censorship, or a Fox News Zombie?



Civilized, getting to know you chit-chat - (back to QuickLinks)



Kalvin says: hey you!

Kalvin says: studying?

Nancy says: Hi!

Nancy says: well, taking a 1/2 hour South Park break


Kalvin says: i'm glad you came online

Kalvin says: ooooh i love southpark

Kalvin says: was gonna be a lonely night without someone to talk to

Kalvin says: my friend left

Nancy says: did you have fun last night


Kalvin says: he wanted to go see this girl he knows here

Nancy says: where is he visiting from?


Kalvin says: yeah was good to see an old friend and have a beer or two

Kalvin says: Virginia

Kalvin says: Norfolk

Kalvin says: old friend from school in orlando

Nancy says: just there for the weekend sort of thing?


Kalvin says: yah

Kalvin says: most of the people i know here are married with kids

Kalvin says: so i don't much hang out time aside from the office

Nancy says: when you lived here, did you ever go to Long Beach?

Nancy says: Tofino


Kalvin says: no. where is long beach? i know Kits Beach and

Kalvin says: Tofino?

Nancy says: OMG.... on the west coasts of Vancouver Island


Kalvin says: isn't that on Vancouver island?

Nancy says: yeah

Nancy says: soooooooo beautiful


Kalvin says: oh yeah

Kalvin says: i think i did go to tofino once

Nancy says: one of my favourite places on the planet

Nancy says: the beach is 40km long

Nancy says: powdery white sand


Kalvin says: i don't remember it aside from staying at a lodge and having the best rack of lamb

Kalvin says: really?

Nancy says: hahahha....



Canada is all Horribly cold, right? - (back up to QuickLinks)
Note: Victoria is often categorized as having a Mediterranean climate

Kalvin says: i like Victoria alot

Nancy says: yeah... people go surfing there all the time.


Kalvin says: that's a really quaint town

Kalvin says: SURFING?

Nancy says: yeah


Kalvin says: in canada?

Kalvin says: omg

Kalvin says: lol

Kalvin says: must be horribly cold

Nancy says: not much colder than san fran

Nancy says: and people surf there


Kalvin says: what made you think of Tofino?

Nancy says: just that I was really hoping to go there this weekend... but I had to decline an invitation... 'cause there's just no way I'd get anything done there....:(

Nancy says: :(


Kalvin says: awwww

Kalvin says: you should have gone anyway

Kalvin says: i would

Kalvin says: when is your deadline for the next exam?

Nancy says: they have gorgeous natural hot springs... right by the ocean

Nancy says: 4 sept



A little shop talk - (back up to QuickLinks)

Kalvin says: that BC real estate exam must be really hard

Kalvin says: or rather the UBC exam

Nancy says: hardest in the country....

Nancy says: with a high failure rate


Kalvin says: cause our exam was easy

Kalvin says: the Rockwell Institute's exam was hard

Nancy says: really? I hear California's is hard


Kalvin says: but the WA state exam was a breeze

Kalvin says: and i'm pretty good with math and formulas so that part was easy

Nancy says: A friend of mine here, who has dual citizenship, is moving to SF... she's a realtor here, and she said the Cali exam was about as hard as the BC one


Kalvin says: hmmmm

Kalvin says: give me a minute. have to go check on my dinner cooking.

Nancy says: and she has a degree in Accounting

Nancy says: k



Something in common - we both like food - (back up to QuickLinks)

Kalvin says: back

Kalvin says: almost burned my steak

Kalvin says: do you cook at home?

Nancy says: yeah... though I don't get very creative when cooking just for one


Kalvin says: neither do i

Kalvin says: just easy stuff mostly

Kalvin says: when i was in Vancouver i took cooking classes though

Nancy says: me too....lots of salads in summer.. it's super humid here today

Nancy says: really? what style?


Kalvin says: Indian cooking

Nancy says: my favourtie


Kalvin says: and i also took a sushi class from Tojo

Nancy says: I think I'm sushi'd out

Nancy says: but I can never get enough Indian food!

Nancy says: it's so aromatic


Kalvin says: yes

Kalvin says: very hard to make it though

Kalvin says: takes so much time

Nancy says: I know! and mixing the spices is an art


Kalvin says: so many spices and cutting veggies and preparation

Kalvin says: takes hours and hours

Nancy says: yeah... I'd rather pay someone to do it! lol


Kalvin says: i used to cook for my girlfriend most nights

Nancy says: yeah... my ex-boyfriend did most of the cooking for me too

Nancy says: nice treat!



What do you look for in a man? - (back up to QuickLinks)

Kalvin says: how long ago was your last boyfriend?

Nancy says: my last serious bf and I broke up about a year ago now

Kalvin says: and dated around since then?

Nancy says: I've dated a bit since then, but nothing serious

Kalvin says: what are you looking for in a man?

Nancy says: a great cook

Nancy says: !

Nancy says: LOL

Nancy says: j/k

Kalvin says: i'm a decent cook

Kalvin says: i can cook with a recipe pretty well

Nancy says: I guess someone who can challenge me, and also be a bit of a safe haven when the world is overly challenging

Kalvin says: but my steaks don't seem to turn out all that well

Nancy says: charcoal bbq is what steaks need!

Nancy says: not gas bbq... charcoal

Kalvin says: i don't know but i seem not to be good at it

Nancy says: the cancer causing kind

Kalvin says: you ever thought about whether or not you'd like to be married?

Nancy says: it's not a necessity for me... though I'm not averse to it

Nancy says: intelligence though is supremely important...

Kalvin says: so you live alone? and you own your own place

Nancy says: yep

Kalvin says: i'm quite intelligent

Kalvin says: lol

Nancy says: that's good!...

Nancy says: :)



I know, let's talk about politics! - (back up to QuickLinks)

Nancy says: I need someone who is interested in global issues

Kalvin says: mhmmm

Kalvin says: i am

Kalvin says: but i'm not a liberal

Kalvin says: i'm a conservative

Kalvin says: in fact, your conservative party isn't quite conservative enough for me.

Nancy says: hmmm... I'm definitely a liberal

Nancy says: yikes

Kalvin says: my ex votes Liberal

Nancy says: the liberal party here isn't nearly liberal enough for me

Nancy says: I'm more of a green party voter

Kalvin says: dang

Kalvin says: don't tell me your a Greenie!

Kalvin says: NOOOOOOOO

Nancy says: works for me



Full of self love - (back up to QuickLinks)

Kalvin says: well i could talk global issues around you if you want. and politics.

Kalvin says: there are few who can match my political savvy

Nancy says: I'm not looking for my clone, just someone who is open minded, and doesn't see the world in terms of black and white... 'cause for me, everything is a shade of grey

Kalvin says: hmmmm



Things are getting interesting - (back up to QuickLinks)

Nancy says: I think the whole black/white thing is too simplistic

Nancy says: nothing is that simple

Kalvin says: how about " the world is governed by the use of force"?

Nancy says: in general, yes, I agree with that statement

Kalvin says: ok then

Kalvin says: that's pretty black and white

Nancy says: there's enough evidence..

Nancy says: doesn't make it right though

Nancy says: I said "in general"

Kalvin says: well, when a nation or military entity intends harm against another people, they best thing to do is prepare for it.

Kalvin says: as in, right now.... Russia conquering Georgia

Kalvin says: and make no mistake, nobody is going to stop them.

Kalvin says: they want the oil lanes



I know what would help, lets talk about Iraq - everybody knows the real story by now. - (back up to QuickLinks)

Nancy says: and the US's reason for going into Iraq?

Nancy says: Rice's comments on CNN or wherever are so incredibly hypocrital, it's laughable

Nancy says: about this not being 1968 and nations not being allowed to go into a country, occupy its capital and overthrow its government...

Nancy says: LOL

Nancy says: who isn't laughing at that....

Nancy says: I guess you don't like jon stewart too much ....

Kalvin says: because Saddam Hussein defied every UN resolution and prolonged a war which was never stopped. and Saddam HAD acquired yellow cake uranium from Niger. 550 metric tonnes. by occupying Iraq and being close to the center of Islamic domination, it made every straetgic sense to stop a genocidal killer of millions of his own people and stop another point from which weapons of mass destruction could be handed off to terrorists

Nancy says: you don't seriously believe that do you? who supplied him with the weapons needed to launch the chemical attacks that killed all those Kurds....??

Kalvin says: lots of nations did. and continued to. but who was to stop him?

Kalvin says: in other words, had the US provided him with the weapons, should the US have done nothing to stop the continued genocide?

Nancy says: who appointed the US as world cop? and what about Mugabe in Zimbabwe... or the head of Sudan... they are genocidal maniacs...

Nancy says: why no involvement there?

Kalvin says: in other words, mass killings are ok as long as someone else was responsible for their provision

Kalvin says: why not appoint the UN as world cops? have they ever stopped anything?

Nancy says: the kurdish slaughter was over a decade ago

Nancy says: why not stop Saddam when he actually killed those people

Kalvin says: so we should have done nothing and allowed Saddam Hussein to continue his slaghter.

Kalvin says: he was an innocent misunderstood man.

Nancy says: wow

Kalvin says: do you agree with that?

Nancy says: no, we should allow the US to slaughter more iraqis than saddam EVER did

Nancy says: that's much better

Kalvin says: ok so now that the US has restored order and is rebuilding that country that's a bad thing?

Nancy says: ORDER! are you serious?!



Will Canada save us? - (back up to QuickLinks)

Kalvin says: so whatever the US does is bad. we should step aside and wait for the Caliphate.

Kalvin says: you don't pay attention to the news m uch do you?

Nancy says: you must have your tv turned onto fox news 24/7

Nancy says: wow... thanks for the insult

Kalvin says: i pay attention to many news sources

Kalvin says: you asked my opinion

Nancy says: when exactly?

Kalvin says: how many books have you read about world history and politics?

Kalvin says: so in other words, the US should never step in to any armed conflict in your opinion.

Kalvin says: and Canada will save us.

Nancy says: maybe they should have gone after bin laden who was the real mastermind, and not try to hard to fabricate 'evidence' against someone who had no involvement

Nancy says: now you insult my country

Kalvin says: in Pakhistan?

Nancy says: afghanistan

Kalvin says: so if we had invaded Pakhistan that would have been better?

Kalvin says: we went into Afghanistan

Kalvin says: Bin Laden fled to Pakhistan

Nancy says: well, let's face it... they don't know where he is, otheriwse maybe they'd have him

Nancy says: anyway, look .... if you're just going to call me ignorant, and mock my country, I think I can see where this might go....

Kalvin says: so now you say we should have left the sweet Saddam and his mass genocide buddies to reform, build nukes, and nuke Israel.

Nancy says: I don't need you to put words in my mouth, but if the US was so concerned about human rights, there were way worse offenders than Saddam Hussein... and they continue to this day

Kalvin says: you do realize that the Israelis bombed the Osiric Nuke Reactor in Iraq in 1983?

Nancy says: and Israel is in defiance of UN resolutions about no nukes in the middle east

Kalvin says: so should the US take on every one of them?

Nancy says: no one gives THEM a hard time

Kalvin says: Israel has no proven nukes.

Kalvin says: prove it

Nancy says: even when THEY slaughter palestinian children

Nancy says: ok... Kalvin... I can see that things are quite black and white for you... lol

Nancy says: I never asked the US to do anything

Kalvin says: well you are going to continue to think what you want to believe. nothing i say will change your mind.

Nancy says: ditto

Kalvin says: i used to be a liberal. and then i realized that liberalism was nothing but lies.

Nancy says: fox/cnn fair and balanced.... HA

Kalvin says: cnn isn't fair

Kalvin says: fox actually has both sides of the argument

Nancy says: you probably think they're liberal

Nancy says: OMG

Kalvin says: baby

Nancy says: OMG

Nancy says: HAHAHAHAHAHHAA

Nancy says: ok

Nancy says: I gotta go

Nancy says: LOL

Kalvin says: wow you are very emotional

Kalvin says: i'm trying to have a conversation with me and you are very insulting and closed minded.

Kalvin says: i actaully llisten and read and pay attention.

Nancy says: the fact that you think fox is fair and balanced makes me think that you cannot possibly POSSIBLY pay attention to other news sources.... it's the BIGGEST propaganda machine on the PLANET

Kalvin says: and yoiu would know how? because you watch Fox News?

Nancy says: and to say that I'm insulting is a joke right

Kalvin says: no. all you do is listen to p ropaganda about conservatives.

Nancy says: gee you know me really well, for someone I've never met

Kalvin says: when i lived in Canada

Kalvin says: i watched CTV, BBC, CBC and MSNBC

Nancy says: I actually have watched enough of bill o'reilley to know he's psycho

Kalvin says: i never had the priveledge of watcxhing Fox because your country doesn't want people to watch Fox



Maybe it's love, we both agree, Bill O'Reilly sucks! - (back up to QuickLinks)

Kalvin says: bill oreilly sucks



Canadian censorship, or a Fox News Zombie? - (back up to QuickLinks)
or - listen to the pompous coward for a real opinion

Nancy says: funny... i get fox

Nancy says: sadly

Kalvin says: you want real opinion, listen to Rush Limbaugh

Nancy says: OMG!the drug addict!

Nancy says: LOL

Nancy says: who bitches about addicts

Nancy says: and then is caught popping pills... .but in his case, it's ok

Kalvin says: wow you really are brainwashed

Nancy says: OMG

Kalvin says: i'm sorry for you

Nancy says: yeah, "I" am

Nancy says: thanks for the insult

Nancy says: ditto

Kalvin says: jesus baby

Nancy says: take care

Kalvin says: you have a seriosly closed mind

Nancy says: I've listened to Rush Limbaugh... he's a windbag

Kalvin says: and you are very hostile

Kalvin says: really?

Nancy says: ok... I've had it with the insults Kalvin

Kalvin says: what insults? because i disagree with you?

Nancy says: I don't need to be insulted by someone who has likely never left the states as an adult

Kalvin says: omfg

Nancy says: closed minded isn't a compliment in this country anyway



At this point Nancy blocked incoming messages from Kalvin because it was pretty clear that this was going nowhere fast.
Stay tuned for part 2, it gets better, and a lot more bloody.

In the meantime, we ask you the readers to use the polls on the side, and comment on what you feel Nancy should do. Try to make ammends? what??

(back up to QuickLinks)

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